When good Triforce stunts go bad
by deadmanstalkin
Summary: a various bunch of acts in OoT which don't turn out as planned


Authors note: I don't own the Zelda characters. Like you really care about this but I just felt like it...  
  
  
WHEN GOOD TRIFORCE STUNTS GO BAD  
  
Episode 1:Korkiri forest  
  
Narrators note: These stunts have been recreated by professionals, do not try to copy them in any way, not that you'll want to end up twisting various bones in your body, but we live in an age where we get sued for not saying these things.  
  
*Flashy shots of Link getting beaten up by Wolfos*  
  
Narrator: You thought it was safe in the forest, but think again, as what you are about to see may disturb and shock you. If you are easily disturbed look away now.  
  
Narrator: Here I am in the Korkiri forest, the scene you are about to see, is the shocking truth behind what happens to the Hylians in the forest.  
  
Hylian kid: Lalalalalalalalalalalalala  
Wolfos1: What the **** is that ****ing kid doing here!?  
Wolfos2: SSH; don't shout, I think we're in a nature documentary...  
Wolfos3: Really!? COOL! *turns to see camera* HI MUM!  
Narrator: Dear God...  
Wolfos1: Let's just beat up that punk kid...  
Wolfos2&3:OK!  
Hylian kid: Hello nice doggi-EEK! YARRGH! OUCH!  
Wolfos1: COOL! HE TURNED INTO A SCARECROW!  
Saria: DAMN! You were supposed to pretend to kill him!  
All Wolfos: Why?  
Saria: Food for the Korkiri! But now he got away! Grrr... you train a pet to kill some kids, and then they just beat it up and let it go... Shees!  
Skullkid: WAAAH! MY FRIENDS BEAT ME UP! WAAAH!  
  
Narrator: What the **** was that!?  
Camera man: we're back on air...  
Narrator: Oh *ahem*... The next scene is what happens when a young Korkiri attempts to get out of his tree house after forgetting to use the ladder...  
  
Link: OK! I'm up! Sop yelling at me!  
Navi: Hey! Look! Listen! Link, go see the great Deku tree!  
Link: Stupid fairy...  
Navi: Hey! Look! Listen! Watch out!  
Link: ¬_¬ What now...?  
Navi: You can use the door by using the handle!  
Link: Right! That's it! I'm not listening to you anymore!  
Navi: Why?  
Link: Geez...  
Navi: watch out for the...!  
*crash*  
Link: That's not supposed to be there...  
Navi: What Li- OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY!  
  
Mido: What the hell happened he-WHAT THE HELL IS THAT DOING THERE!?  
Saria: Hi Li-WHAT THE **** IS THAT DOING THERE!? Holy **** Link! Next time use the ladder!  
  
Narrator: Saria managed to find a fairy in time to save link, but he eventually reported a strange triangle on his broken arm, but this was cleared, and proven to be the triforce of courage. No one was hurt.  
  
Narrator: Have you ever wondered what happens when you crushed by a boulder... well prepare to find out...  
  
Link: Right Navi! This time, only tell me when a boulder is coming, otherwise stay quiet!  
Navi: OK LINK!  
...  
...  
...  
...  
Navi: WATCH OUT!  
Link: WHAT!?  
Navi: Got ya!  
Link: Geez...  
Navi: Hehehe...WATCH OUT! SERIOUSLY WATCH OUT!  
Link: YIKES!  
Navi: GOTCHA AGAIN!  
Link: *****  
Navi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY! WATCH OUT!  
Link: no chance...  
*Crunch*  
Link: I am in a lot of pain...  
Navi: Link, what happened to your arm...It's flat...  
  
Narrator: After the break:  
  
Link has a talk with a shop keeper...  
  
Link: What do you mean no shields!?  
Navi: He means he hasn't got any shields left...  
  
Link finds out what plant saliva tastes like  
  
Navi: Link! Just stay put, Plants don't like human flesh!  
Link: Mmmmph! Mmf!  



End file.
